Father's Day! Yeh right

 

 

So today is Father's Day in America. It is a day where children honor their dads for all the love and support they give to them.

It is suppose to me a joyful occasion but not for me.

The weekend leading up to Father's Day had a lot going on for me. My daughter recently turned seven years old and my wife and I decided way back the Saturday before Father's Day would be a good time to throw a birthday party for our daughter in our house. So my wife made up some invitation and sent them off with my daughter to school and now I have twelve seven year old girls coming over today going to run all over the house, can't wait, NOT. Well I knew I was going to have to get the house in order weeks ahead of time. See I added a room onto the house back in February. I had a contractor do the framing and sheet rocking but I had to do the floor tiles, and windows and door moldings. So I decided that since I was going to bust my ass working on the house that I wanted to have a nice quite Father's Day with just my wife and children. Well that idea didn't go over too well with my wife.

For the past ten years we have been getting together with my wife's side of the family so that we could spend the time of celebrating Father's Day with her dad and grandfather sitting around eating takeout food. I'll be honesty it's boring and I am pretty tired of listening to her grandfather talk about his health issues and watching my mother-law dance to her favorite songs, what a site to watch, I am surprised I am not blind or have nightmares. The worst part is smelling my wife's grandfather's  companion scent. She smells like mothballs, OMG,  help me please.

I told my wife that I wanted to spend a quiet Father's Day weeks ago and since the that time I told her it has been an  argument.

Wife: "Rob, every year is the same story with you, you don't want to get together and at the last minute you decide to go."

Me: "Well Tara this year is different. I know I have to get the house together for the party so the next day I just want to relax. I don't mind if we go out for something to eat just the four of us but I really don't want to get to together with anyone else. Besides we are going to see your dad at Jillian's party so what's the big deal with not seeing him on Father's Day.?"

 Well the back and forth on this subject went on for  few weeks between my wife and me but then it died down. So I thought my wife was ok with the idea and told her parents that I wasn't going nor the kids. I don't mine my wife going, I understand that it is her dad's day as well and she should go and honor him but yesterday at my daughters party my wife's mother had no clue I wasn't going to their house for Father's Day, my wife never told them, nice going Tara! and argument started after I told my mother-in-law I wasn't going nor the kids.

My mother-in-law comes in and starts calling my name.

Mother-in-law: "Rob, we brought the chairs, there outside in the back of the house by me."

Me: "Ok, I'll be right there to get them. Thanks"

I head downstairs to get the chairs from outside and to start to set them up.

Mother-in-law:"I am going to need the chairs back for tomorrow. I some friends are coming over to spend Father's Day with use. A couple I meant at church. You should like them, they are very nice people"

Me:"Didn't Tara tell you that I wasn't going?"

Mother-in-law:"NO SHE DID NOT. Why aren't you going?

Me: " Well, I spent several weeks getting this house together and felt I just wanted to relax with the kids."

Mother-in-law: "Kids are not going? Jim is not going to like that. He is going to be very disappointed."

Me:"Why? It is Father's Day, not grandfather's day. (no such thing. thank GOD). Besides he is going to see them today."

Mother-in-law:"Jim is like a father to them."

My wife comes out and does not get involved in the conversation.

Wife: " We are heading out to get the food."

Me:"Food? What food? I thought you were just ordering pizza for the kids?

Wife:"Had to get food for the parents who are will to stick around and wait for their kids as well as my parents, your sister, and my brother. Oh yeh, my uncle and his girlfriend are coming as well as his dog.

Me: "Great, thanks for telling me so late."

Mother-in-law: "Rob, you are so selfish. You have no consideration for others"

Me:" You are kidding me right? I spent weeks getting this place together."

They both start walking away. I am left fuming and can't believe my wife let her mother talk like that to me.

 As soon as my father-in-law came in the house I told him what was going on.

Jim, I just want to let you know that I won't be at your house for Father's Day. I told your wife just now and she called me selfish and that I have no consideration for others. He just stood there and didn't look at me.

So I went I up to my bedroom and told my son to call me when my sister arrives.

As the party started getting underway. I could sense the tension between me and my in-laws building.

My father-in-law probable got the scoop from my wife on how things really went down between me and my mother-in-law earlier and is waiting to get me to the side for a talk. That's his style.

My sister finally arrived with my niece and we started talking. She was a bit under the weather so she wasn't kissing or hugging hellos to anyone as she normally does. I knew she wasn't feeling well earlier in the month she was complaining about a cold  and asked her if it was the same symptoms. She said yes and it doesn't seem like I am able to get rid of it.

She told me about the drama she had with her mother-in-law that morning and I was like what a coincidence I got into a argument with mine as well. See my sister I have been down this road before. Seeing our parents argue was like going to a sporting event, you knew it was going to happen and where all you had to do was watch the words and at times fist fly. When the arguments would stop between my parents then the sides would form. My mom would go to my sister and vent and my father would sit on the coach smoking his cigarettes saying" I can't take this shit, your mother always sides with her sister and the rest of her family." Great to hear when you are a kid but hey I do that now myself, karmas a bitch.

Since my mom past a few years ago things between my sister and I have been smooth meaning, no arguments between us, we talk things out like adults. I think we both understand it is just not worth the effort of arguing about issues that are just not that important.

After my sister and I vented to each other we started mingle amongst the parents that stayed and I saw my sister got tangled up in a conversion with my mother-in-law, I felt sorry for my sister. But anyway the time passed and it was time to get food out to the kids. My wife had the creative idea of making menus for the kids and having them pick their food prior to them coming. So my wife attached the menus to the plates that the kids would eat from.

My niece asked if we could start getting the food out to the kids and said sure why not.

My wife was in the kitchen at the opposite side of the counter getting something ready as well and my mother-in-law walked into the kitchen and said something to my wife under her breath. I could make it out bit, She said something like "Do they know what they're doing?" and I blew up with arguing at my wife, I just red. I have remember to apologizes to my niece, we never got to get the food out to the kids. 

I decided to go into another room to calm myself down but from a distance I saw my mother-in-law talking with my father-in-law and then he started heading my why. He came up to me and said "We need to have a talk lets go outside. I said "now you want to talk, you didn't want to before." He said "It was not the time or place but I did want to talk to you after everyone was gone." Witch made sense to me. He started talking and I was distant at first not really listening. I told him I didn't like your wife calling me selfish and wanted an apologize from her. My mother-in-law came over and apologized and said that was not the best of words. She really wanted to say that she wanted me at her house because she loves when I am over. My father-in-law said stuff like "Tara grandfather is old and you don't know when his time will come. He just wants to be around family and likes to see you and the kids." my mother-in-law understood that I wanted time to myself and pleaded with me to have the kids come along with Tara. So I caved in and said sure.

So here I am alone on Father's Day.